When looked upon with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, the dating we did in our 20s was the stuff of romantic comedies, especially when compared with what it’s like a decade later. While it’s actually easier to date in your 30s in the sense that you know yourself better, by the time you reach a certain age you’re just, well, SATC’s Charlotte said it best: “I’ve been dating since I was 15. I’m exhausted. Where is he?” Sheer exhaustion is the reason going to bars is a no-go most nights—especially given the inevitable epic hangovers and a lack of single girlfriends with whom to wing-woman—but luckily, this is the digital age, so we can meet lots of men without ever leaving our Netflix accounts unattended. Here, 12 apps to try if you find yourself single—and ready to mingle—in your 30s (plus, how to take a perfect selfie for your profile).

Homepage Image: Adam Katz Sinding

Coffee Meets Bagel

In a recent study, analytics company Applause ranked apps based on their user reviews, and this one came in third, which is promising. While the app once sent daters only one match per day, which was helpful for those who feel the 'shopping' element is a little icky, it recently switched things up so that men receive 21 matches per day whereas women receive just five. Before you delete it based on this inequity, know that the well-intentioned people at Coffee Meets Bagel made these changes based on user feedback—apparently, men like quantity and women like quality. Shocking!

Aug 25, 2020 The new app 20 Dating only allows users to match with people 20 years younger or older than them. Currently the site has a 66% male, 32% female and 2% transgender gender ratio breakdown. Beware, however, that Tinder was the OG geo-based dating app before dozens of others flooded the market with different specialties, so there might not be a ton of fish left in this digital sea. Download Tinder for iOS, Android. If you’re looking for something more serious in your 20s and 30s: Bumble. Most mainstream dating sites and apps cater to a fairly young single crowd, so you can’t go wrong as a 20-something in the online dating scene. You’re in the driver’s seat here, and you don’t have to settle for anything less than an ideal match with a premium member.

If you don't want to lose the serendipitous aspect of real-life dating, you should probably sign up for Happn. This app promises to match you to people with whom you've crossed paths in the non-virtual world, somehow making things feel a little more organic. If you, like us, live in a sprawling city like Los Angeles, you know how important convenient geography can be in terms of making a relationship last.

Sparkology requires that men be graduates of top-tier universities in order to join, which feels a bit gross considering it doesn't have the same standards for women. Men are also subjected to a points system, which is purported to help ladies know which ones are serious (a feature we can definitely get behind). In order to join, technically you must be invited by a current member or the Sparkology team, but if you click on the 'Join' button, you're asked to link your Facebook profile for evaluation.

We don't think anyone should be ashamed to be 'caught' online dating; however, some of us may not so much appreciate our colleagues or future colleagues knowing what's up in our romantic lives, so the fact that The League hides your profile from LinkedIn and Facebook contacts is a big plus in our book. Another thing we like about The League? The platform kicks people off if they're not actively dating: No looky-loos allowed. The League has recently shifted its strategy somewhat to become events-focused, as it's hoping to transition into something akin to a members-only club like The Soho House rather than just a dating app. The League is only available in San Francisco, New York and Los Angeles, and its waiting list is allegedly 100,000 people long. Good luck!

Most of the women we know who frequent dating apps at present are on Bumble and report good experiences—it ranked fourth on that aforementioned list based on user reviews. This app is known for tasking women with the first move (once a match has been made)—which is great if you'd like to reduce the number of obscene things total strangers feel justified in using as pickup lines on some apps. On another note, Bumble's just announced the launch of BumbleBizz this fall, which is basically swipe-based networking. We're intrigued.

If you're one of the 'old people' who has gotten on board with Snapchat in a big way, you might want to try Lively, the newest app on the market. We have a feeling its demo will skew 20s, so if you're looking for a slightly younger man, this could be the perfect platform for you. Your Lively profile will pull videos and images from various apps on your phone and edit them together to tell a complete story about you. The app comes to us from the creators of dating website Zoosk.

If you think your life is a rom-com, or should be, Tindog might be the app for you. It matches your dog with another dog, which is definitely the perfect setup for a meet-cute if ever we've heard one. Something to consider before joining, however, is how hard it is to be rejected in online dating. Now imagine how hard it will be for you when your beloved, perfect pet is rejected, as happened here. We just don't want you to get hurt....

If you're into astrology, Align is pretty fun, and it'll save you the trouble of finding out your signs are incompatible down the line. We don't know how serious the contenders are on this platform—we don't use it as, to be honest, we barely even know our own sign—but if nothing else it will provide a welcome distraction from the tedium of scouring the digital universe to find your cosmic match.

OkCupid has a patented Compatibility Matching System, which uses complicated algorithms to pick your matches. Given that all we've been doing thus far to pick our men is saying, 'He's hot,' we can't help but think this would be an improvement. Though you can choose to select less commitment-focused options in terms of your dating goals, OkCupid tends to feel more adult and therefore more serious in nature than other apps. This can be a good thing if you're looking for someone who will step off the dating carousel with you at long last. It was also ranked number one by Applause in terms of user reviews.

According to Time Magazine, 82% of Match users were over the age of 30 as of 2014. This has likely changed somewhat given that in the same year, Match redid its mobile app to include features more akin to Tinder than OG Match. Still, Match tends to draw a more serious crowd than many other apps, in part because elements of the platform require payment.

Some of us have personal feelings about this one—which we won't share because, diplomacy—but suffice it to say that you will definitely meet a specific type of person on this platform. Raya is exclusive and basically requires that you have a cool job, know cool people and have a lot of those cool people following you on Instagram. If that sounds like your kind of filtration system, we say go for it. Just be warned in advance that it's unlikely that the attractive celebrity with whom you're matched will be dating only you anytime in the near future.

We recently added Canada to our list of countries worth moving to. Maple Match hilariously promises to enable your move north by partnering you with a Canadian. We're pretty sure this app is a joke—you can only join the wait list for now—but we're hoping someone invents it for real, stat.

By our 30s, ideally we've broken bad habits and patterns and are now only dating people who would make appropriate partners. If you, however, laughed out loud at that statement (we did), you might want to consider signing up for Wingman. This app leaves the fate of your dating life in the hands of your friends, who are the sole deciders when it comes to who you will or will not go out with. We're guessing the results of such an experiment would be vastly different than anything we've experienced while steering our own ship, and we're so down to find out.

There's no arguing that as women, we want it all: love, connection and intimacy.

But how we interact with them and move toward receiving and giving them are markedly different as we move into and through adulthood.

In both your early 20s and late 20s, dating can seem like an adventure of discovery.

The years are spent discovering how you function in relationships, what you want as an independent woman and as a woman in a relationship.

But as you move closer to those late 20-something years, things start to shift.

1. You're over the “rules” and games you fed into in your early 20s.

In your early 20s, it was sort of a sick thrill to play games. It was like you tested each guy to see how far you could push them to prove they were worthy of you. You got a thrill out of the chase, and it was secretly nice to have the upper hand at times.

But as time moved on, you started to find that after the thrill of the chase, you were let down. Something genuine and authentic seemed to be missing.

Now, you'd rather be a straight shooter. Instead of torturing your potential mate and keeping them guessing if you're interested, you let them know where they stand.

Long gone are the days when you abide by the rules of texting or not texting until after a set period of time, or the ambiguous Snapchats to string them along. That just seems like a waste of everyone's time.

If you're interested, you let them know. If you're on the fence, you let them know. You've realized that if you were in their shoes, you'd want to the same.

Instead of the thrill of the chase, you're in it for the thrill of connection.

Instead of the thrill of the chase, you're in it for the thrill of connection.

2. Your desires have shifted from fun flings to settling down.

In your early 20s, parties, one-night stands and meaningless flings are abundant. In a way, dating is a form of entertainment to pass the time and meet new people... that way, you're always armed with an entertaining story to share with your friends.

As an early 20-something, you haven't had the time or life experience to define what you want in a relationship. So, you feel things out as you go, making mistakes and learning from them.

Eventually, you learn enough to move past the fun, meaningless flings because you're looking for a bit more.

As the years tick by, you start to realize there has to be more to dating and relationships than what you've considered in the past.

Your priorities shift from being easy breezy, to a serious search for someone who has a similar outlook and vision for life as you.

Bottom line: You're over the drama.

3. You start to realize looks aren't everything.

You've invested so much time and energy in going after the guy who is 6-feet tall with the chiseled jaw line and biceps that hug his sleeves.

There's no doubt that those guys can have awesome personalities, but you've started to realize, so do the guys who don't fit that mold.

You've kissed enough chiseled-jaw princes that have turned out to be frogs at heart. So you've started to look for a spark outside of physical connection.

You've seen firsthand that you can have the best of both worlds: a physical and mental/emotional spark. And that becomes your ideal.

4. Instead of settling for convenience, you've started to define what you do and don't want.

As you move through your early 20s, it's easy to settle out of convenience and fear.

Maybe your ex cheated, and despite your gut telling you it would only continue, you stayed with them.

Maybe you saw how your date treated the waitress or bartender on your date last week, but you keep going out with them because you don't know if you'll be able to find someone else.

Your instincts tell you it isn't going to work, but you stay because you aren't sure what the other option is.

As you move through these types of relationships, you begin to see the qualities that not only bring out the best in you, but also the qualities you desire and deserve.

You begin to form a vision of what you want a relationship to feel like and look like. You have a clear set of deal-breakers that are in line with what you want out of life.

You have a clear set of deal-breakers that are in line with what you want out of life.

5. You've matured sexually.

The one-night stands, the lackluster sexual encounters… they've taught you want turns you on and what turns you off.

They've also taught you how you want to be treated and respected, both in and out of the bedroom.

You've come to realize your sexual needs are just as important as his, and as you become more comfortable with your sexuality, you're more willing to voice to your needs and how he can help you meet them.

6. You don't throw in the towel after an argument.

As an early 20-something, passion often clouds our judgement, even in the event of a disagreement or argument.

Dating Apps For 20s

Many women have found themselves moving on after a serious disagreement because they don't have the skill or life experience to communicate and repair damage that was done.

Sometimes it seems easier to move on to than it is to step back and look at what went wrong and what could be repaired.

As you move through your 20s, you learn more effective ways of communicating, how to take responsibility for your part in arguments, how to recover from them and how they can actually build a stronger foundation for a relationship.

Throwing in the towel still happens, but more commonly after you've investigated and tried strategies to move past your relationship problems.

Dating throughout your 20s is a definite journey, and you're bound to kiss some frogs before you find your prince.

Dating Apps For 20 Somethings

But, as each year passes by, don't forget to allow your experiences and lessons inform your decisions and vision of your future partner.

Best Dating Apps For 20s Australia

As a single, late 20-something, now's the perfect time to work on your future relationship by working on yourself and being clear about what it is you want, what you don't want and what you deserve from a partner.